Understanding ..

What Is Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia?

CML is sometimes discovered by routine blood tests during a normal check up.

It may first appear as anaemia, with the patient finding colds or other minor irritations difficult to control..

Mine was discovered by a routine check up after an operation I had but I also had other things that was definitely difficult to figure out/control.

CML is an acquired leukaemia, resulting from a change in a persons DNA.. This change results in an uncontrolled growth of white cells which also bring on abdominal discomfort due to an enlarged spleen.

My spleen gets big quite a lot and the pain is sometimes unbearable! 

It comes all down my left side of my stomach from underneath my boob.

Other symptoms can include excessive night sweats, weight loss, increased sensitivity to warm temperatures, pain or fullness below the ribs on the left side, tiredness and fevers.

When CML is suspected following a complete blood count, doctors will generally perform a series of tests referred to as a Cytogenetic Analysis.  A small sample of bone marrow is acquired via a marrow aspiration (BMA) and, at times, a bone biopsy will be performed (BMB).  

After my doctors did more blood tests, they performed a bone marrow biopsy which was so uncomfortable but that was what gave them the results.

Presence of a high white count, the PH Chromosome, and other blood and marrow tests can confirm a diagnosis of CML.

There are three stages of CML..

Stage one is Chronic.

Stage two is Accelerated.

Stage three is Blastic/blast crisis.

As you can imagine.. the worst is the last stage.

Leukaemia is acute or chronic depending on how fast it develops and gets worse.

Chronic leukaemia tends to develop very slowly. You may have a chronic leukaemia for months or years without having many symptoms. It may be stable for months or years before it gets worse.

White blood cells help you fight off infections. If you have abnormal white blood cells they cannot fight infections off so well. CML patients may get a lot more infections which may be difficult to get rid of.

When too many white blood cells are made, they take up much more room in the bone marrow than they normally would. This means that there is not enough space for making normal red blood cells and platelets.

Red blood cells carry oxygen round the body. If you do not have enough of these, you have anaemia which makes you tired and breathless.

Platelets are vital for normal blood clotting. If you do not have enough platelets, you will have bleeding problems such as nosebleeds, heavy periods or a fine rash of red spots cause by bleeding into the skin.

About 8,600 people are diagnosed with leukaemia each year in the UK. Around 750 of these have CML. So it’s quite a rare condition and is more common in men than women.

In my next post I will explain the chemotherapy that I am on and what side effects I get etc.

If you would like to read more into this type of cancer then please feel free to click on the links below.
The links will take you to the websites I have used to help me write this as well as the books I've been given from hospital!

CML - ABOUT

CML - ABOUT 2

♡

TEENAGE CANCER TRUST

Teenage Cancer Trust 

About them.. (from their website)

www.teenagecancertrust.org

Around seven young people aged between 13 and 24 are diagnosed with cancer every day in the UK. They need expert treatment and support from the moment they hear the word ‘cancer.’ We’re the only charity dedicated to making this happen.

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Since the day I got diagnosed with Leukaemia, Teenage Cancer Trust has been by my side.

The first few months, I thought I could cope on my own.. with my own family and friends.. I was hesitant to get in touch and start meeting other people around the same age as me who would be going through something similar.

I was scared to make friends who would be poorly.. I was scared to get too close to someone who had a short period of time to live.. Everything was going through my mind.

I had my family and Micheal going on and on about how good these meet ups would be that Teenage Cancer Trust organise.. They would ask why, but I was so afraid to admit it.

No one should ever go through these feelings.

Especially someone my sort of age.

After a lot of thought and courage, I finally went to one of these meet ups. 

Their called 'Chomp and Chats' .. usually because we go for something to eat and get to know one another..

I LOVED IT.

It was nothing like I was thinking.. Everyone was so nice and I loved every minute of it!

Through Teenage Cancer Trust I have been able to go off on weekends away with friends who I have met through the hospital, Ive been able to go for meals, bowling.. etc etc .. 

It makes you make friends with people who understand what your going through and thats an amazing feeling.

Thank you Teenage Cancer Trust for being fabulous!

N E W B E G I N N I N G S ...

I can't thank my family enough..

October 2015 .. My head was a complete mushed up mess after hearing the words 'you have cancer'.. 

I didn't know what I wanted but I knew for sure I needed my mum, dad and whole family by my side.

 

Two years later, I've got a fab job that suits me, I know exactly what I want and I no longer need my family's help to get me to a better place than what I was in, in my head. 

Thankyou mum for putting your life on hold yet again to move in with me and Michael to look after me. I can't get it out in words how much it has meant to me.

Michael, you've been my rock through such hard times and I've literally been a nightmare but you've stuck by me through all the crap I've given you and have also helped me to understand what I want. 

I love you more than anything and I love you mum, dad and family! 

Here's to ending this chapter in Guiseley and starting another new chapter just me and Michael back in Sowerby Bridge within less than a month!

I smile when I don't want to smile.

Chronic Myeloid leukeamia

Fighting Cancer for the rest of my life

I smile so people think I'm okay.

I smile so people think I'm happy.

I smile when I don't want to smile.

I smile so people think I've got everything under control.

Its called a mask.

I wear this mask EVERY DAY to make it that little bit easier.

It hides all my aches and pains, my insecurities and my worries.

Every night I take chemotherapy to make my blood levels 'normal' .. as normal as they can get..

People say...

'Its only a tablet you have to take'

'Surely taking a tablet for it means its not real chemotherapy'

'You look healthy enough'

Ive also had the..

'Your not poorly though, You haven't lost your hair, Your not weak like other cancer patients'

Not all disabilities are visible.

My bones constantly ache which makes me weak.

Im tired and don't have as much energy as I used to which is why I have naps most days.

I can be throwing up for no reason at all because my body has chemotherapy going round it constantly.

My hot flushes are the worst. My cheeks feel like their on fire!

My vision goes blurry every now and then.

My hair has thinned and I have a small bald patch.

I could go on for a lot longer with what I get..

Every morning I wake up and the first thing I think of is if I feel okay today..

If the chemotherapy has settled in my system over night..

If I'm going to manage the day with my mask on..

I have one MAJOR side effect with my chemotherapy and it happens between the hours of 5:30 - 9:30 EVERY SINGLE MORNING.

Only my family and closest friends know about this.

It makes it hard for me to plan holidays knowing between these hours I will be no use to anyone.

It makes it hard for work to work around my hours.

It makes it hard for me with mostly everything.

Every day is a constant struggle but I do it.

There are people far worse out there than me so I just carry on.

There are others who are in hospital.

At least I can carry on with day to day life.

So I keep this mask on.

My fears...

Will my chemotherapy stop working?

Will my illness change to the next level.. if it does, what will I be facing?

Will I always feel like the odd one out?

Will I live till I'm old and wrinkly?

Will I be able to have children?

Will I ever have just one day where I forget I have cancer and go back to how I used to feel?

I'll never be able to say I'm cancer free.

I don't want to bottle all this up. I would rather talk about it.

People have said to me myself and to other people about how much I talk about it but you don't know how much it affects you until you've gone through it.

Its not just the physical part you go through, its the emotional part too.

I have never said and will never say that I'm the only one who's poorly or come across that its only me that people need to be concerned about because I know I'm not.

I have friends who are worse off than me and there are many more people in the world who are fighting every last second for their life.

This is just how I cope. 

Opening up my laptop and typing everything that I want to say out loud but can't.

I want to make people think more about others and respect more.

Like I said above, Not all disabilities are visible.

Be kind to everyone you meet.

<3

Lets start from the very beginning..

April 2015

I knew I had a large cyst on top of my left ovary and I had regular check ups for it.

Everything was going fine.

I can't remember what the exact date was in April 2015 but one of the days, I went to work as normal and within 10 minutes of starting work I was in excruciating pain with my left side of my stomach.

My work colleagues and boss didn't believe me so I called for an ambulance myself.

I ended up staying in hospital over night and the morning after I was rushed into theatre for emergency surgery.

When I came round from the anaesthetic , I found out I had lost my left Fallopian tube because the large cyst had got wrapped round it and had killed it off.

October 2015

I had a normal check up from my operation.

Blood tests... Scans.. anything to make sure everything was going okay and that my stomach was healing.

My blood test results went back to my doctor and I received a call from him.

He explained to me over the phone that the bloods weren't right or normal and he thought I may have something called Leukeamia..

I was shocked. I was alone.

Didn't know what to do or who to call.

The next minute I know I needed something called a Bone marrow biopsy.

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Not a nice thing to go through.

28th October 2015

I had the results from the bone marrow biopsy.

Me, my mum and my boyfriend all sat in this small room.

The doctor sat in front of us with two nurses behind.

I knew something bad was about to be said..

BANG.

'Im sorry to say but it is bad news I'm afraid, you have something called Chronic myeloid Leukaemia'.

The four walls felt as though they were getting closer and closer together.

My mum crying at the side of me.

My boyfriend takes my hand and gives me 'the look'.

Me?.. I just sat there listening to the doctor but not actually listening.. trying to understand but not being able to concentrate.

Why me? ..

The question I first ask myself in my head.

The question that still to this day goes through my head most days.

Ive been on chemotherapy ever since this day.

One tablet every single night I take.

Im okay.

Im getting on with life because I can't just quit.

Im strong for my family and friends.

Im strong for me.

...